Writing prompt: Willy Wonka and Cave Johnson meet for a brainstorming session.
So one of my sims died, and the grim reaper turned up to do his business, but then another of my sims went into labour and the grim reaper started freaking the hell out
"THIS IS NOT MY JOB. THIS IS THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF MY JOB."
Just life getting in the way of things.
And this is what happens when a masterfully crafted katana collides with a masterfully crafted longsword.
Suck it, katana
And that is what happens when a masterfully crafted scalpel collides with a masterfully crafted guillotine.
Does nobody understand that longswords and katanas are two different kinds of tool?Longswords are essentially sharpened fucksticks designed to destroy the shit out of anything resembling armor that comes their way. They shatter bone, jelly flesh, and essentially fuck people up by sheer inexorable force of being a goddamn sharp steel bar.
Katanas don’t do that.They’re not meant to withstand collision with armor or a brick wall or a charging fully outfitted warhorsebecause the circumstances of its development didn’t call for that. It’s a precision instrument. It’s designed to be lightweight, outmaneuver, and find weak spots, not go barreling into people hack-n-slashing your way to victory. It’s a specialized tool.
In a sense this reflects a core difference between cultures; katanas are a shitton of work and preparation to make the execution as efficient and streamlined as possible, while longswords are more durably and simply made in response to a climate that would require a soldier to be a one-man battering ram in battle.
You slam any blade into any other blade and one of them is at least going to get chipped, because you’re NOT SUPPOSED TO FUCKING DO THAT.
Medieval European / Japanese sword-fighting manuals didn’t have “Now Clang the Swords Together and Totally Ruin Them For No Good Reason Whatsoever” sections. That sword-clanging crap is from movies because you want to show a 2 minute dancey sword-fight and have to do something during that time, because in real sword fights it’s either over in 25 seconds with one guy on the ground, dead, or it goes on for 4 hours as two guys in armor wear themselves out, slamming the broad sides of the sword against the armor.
Swords aren’t lightsabers.
This is like proving a Volkswagen Beetle is a “crap car” by running it into a bridge pylon at 85 mph. It’s a pointless demonstration, because you’re not supposed to do that.
Neither one of these weapons was invented to cut another sword in half, Both were invented to cut a GUY in half. In slightly different ways, but still.
Coming briefly out of hiatus to say that literally everything said in that second comment is wrong.
Katana are not ‘lightweight’ weapons. Most historical katana are quite heavy, and the foreward weight with the lack of a counterbalance (such as the pommel in western swords) actually makes them seem even heavier. Many modern katana are designed for tameshigiri and -are- exceptionally light weapons, but not designed for use on anything other than tatami or bare flesh.
The longsword was -not- a ‘sharpened fuckstick’ They varied widely in design and cross-section, ranging from unfullered lenticular to double-fullered diamond and even hollow-ground.
Neither of these weapons are primary-weapons designed for use against the plate armour of the knight or the lamellar and plate combination of late-period samurai. The samurai were masters of the Yumi, Naginata and Yari, whilst most longswords became primarily-thrusting weapons towards the age of full-plate. Weapons designed to go through plate armour are things like the bec-de-corbin and flanged mace. Whilst longswords did develop into weapons designed to get -between- plates and through maille, it was not their primary use.
The probable causes of the issue in the above .gif are as follows;
A) it’s a lighter style of katana, possible designed for tameshigiri.
B) It’s an historically accurate katana, made of several plates of different carbon-level steels, generally folded out of tamahagane. You’d have a high-carbon edge supported by softer sides and spine, with a soft core, forged together. They would then go through a process called ‘differential hardening’ Meaning the edge is hardened to a higher degree than the rest of the steel; you can see the hamon (the wavey line on the katana) that shows the difference here. By how clear it is, it’s probably acid-etched to bring it out more, so it may not be as ‘masterfully crafted’ as claimed.
Western swords also went through the folded steel process, where a few layers of different carbon-level steels would be forge-welded, folded, hammered out, folded and hammered out until you got a sword-blank, but then usually (by the medieval period) not have any differential hardening or seperate inserts. What this means is you’ve got a consistently hardened and tempered product, rather than one with different levels of hardness. What -that- means is that in a situation like the above, the weapon with the more flexible temper…chips. The weapon with a very hard edge and softer spine…twists, and takes a set. It’s also worth noting that the longsword (my preference of the two weapons, btw) is secured against twisting too much, where the katana is given free range to bend, so it’s not the most accurate of tests.
In summary; Longswords good, Katanas also good, longswords not semi-blunt steel tanks, katanas not 3.5 foot long razor-blades with a laser guidance system.
They’re both steel, forged and heat-treated in different ways.
Everybody needs to stop watching anime for ten fucking minutes, read a book on historical martial arts and another on metallurgy/forging, and get the fuck off the internet talking about swords until they understand how swords fucking work.
Hi trainer! Before we start, are you a,
Somewhere, Professor Oak applauds, a single tear in his eye.
I’m going to ignore the cisnormativity in this…
CIS NORMATIVITY?????????????????? THAT’S LITERALLY GENETICS AND OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT TUMBLR DO YOU EVEN ?????????????????????????????????????????
welcome to tumblr. no fun allowed ever sorry
T H I E F I V
SON LET ME TEACH YOU ABOUT A LITTLE THING CALLED CULTURE
December 3rd 2013, around 1am, something awesome happened..
Reblogging my own post back here since for some inexplicable reason it appears to have disappeared.